The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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