So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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