Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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