I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
