we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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