direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
