and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
is it fun? or sober?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
