did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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