we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
