while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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