if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
