Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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