In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
