the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
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I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
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doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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