No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
