there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
