you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
