I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
