Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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