I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
