I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
