Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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