absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
40s are totally the cure
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's shark week go big or go home
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
