when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
