did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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