yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
