well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
