OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
