im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
