Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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