I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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