dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
