At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
this just has baby written all over it
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
