alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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