so let's talk penis.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You may now shotgun with the bride
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
