Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
