I'm jealous of your bromance
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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