Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
