i think my tv is drunk
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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