Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
even my farts smell like vagina
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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