just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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