I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
