Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
