shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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