I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
