Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
