oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
only you would photoshop your dick
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
