Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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