PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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