you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
