thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just googled if crying burns calories
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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