I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
