do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba