i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.