remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg