well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS