i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
