Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
