Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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