you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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