Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
