whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
