I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize