what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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