i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
