Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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