i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
