We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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