I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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