So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
