you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I see more hoeing in ur future
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
